Thursday, May 28, 2009

Expressing anger!

"Control your anger" my aunt shouted on my cousin. My cousin was really furious and started banging the door. I recalled this episode while talking to a Psychoanalyst. "Do we need to release the anger or control it?" I inquired. He suggested to release the emotion.
It is nice to get the advice of releasing the emotion, but is it right to release it in any way. Anger is such a negative forceful emotion, it maker the person who is angry totally blind to the after effects. When a person is angry,he shouts, abuses and tries to give pain to the person concerned, who at first place had triggered the emotion in him. After the anger is gone, the person will apologize and say he was angry so dint not know what he was saying and doing. Everything has got normal and good, but what about the person who was abused and blamed. It is so difficult for the other to come back in normal state.
Now if we talk about a scenario, where both the concerned people are short tempered, which is more common, than both will blame and abuse each other. What battle scares will it leave.
So releasing the emotion and expressing the emotion, how can it be done in a better way. With this one more question arises, why is it easy to express negative emotions than positive ones.
What could we do better, than shouting and blaming when we are angry, may give us a insight in expressing the emotions in a better way. Generally it is seen that a person who expresses his anger in the highest possible state, feels sorry, after the volcano is released and lava is cooled down. The best way to express the anger, is to get aware. To catch the minute moment, between feeling and reacting. That minute moment is so very important, if you are walking on the path of evolution "Growing internally" Expressing anger in a insane form, that release toxins in the your body and forms knots in a relationship, is certainly not going to lead you to a point, when you may stop expressing, just because you have done enough. So if some one has pumped you saying that it is good that you express yourself, he does not want you to grow, and may not know what does a bad anger really do. I feel writing is a really good technique. When angry, take a pen and paper and start writing. You many not get proper straight thoughts and writing, try your best not to converse at that time with anyone else. Remember it is your emotion, express it in your privacy, you can anytime convey your feelings in a better way. The best way to express your emotion is to write it or go to a isolated place and shout hard. After just a few sessions you will understand the futility of anger, when you will be doing it alone and other is not present to fuel it. Give it a try! I will love to know if you have better and evolving methods of expressing emotions.

~Ma Shakti Devpriya
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